Gees. You haven't felt this upset since you had to sleep in the streets because your mother was to mad to accept the fact you weren't aborted. When you say " you don't care" it must just be a defense mechanism to alleviate feelings of not being cared of.
Who-cares-how-other-people-feel attitude to cover up feelings of grey skies and a hunger for acceptance. If only it was that simple- Of course- if that was the problem then you would have fixed it.
All this bullshit psychology shit you know is use less to you. Acceptance? After 17 years of having parents who neglected you, I believe acceptance is least of your issues.
The truth is . . .
You have ignored more than you should. Venting is not one of your best skills. You don't know what's the cause of your madness. . . maybe is just the heat or maybe is just a human thing.Your not going to bother getting out this maze.
Live by the quote "If you can fix it why worry and if you can't fixed then why worry" & you will be fine.
I will always ignore emotions because I never got anything good out of it & maybe your doing the same thing & if that is the case then I understand.